Sermon April 30, 2023 - Pastor Harlow 1 Peter 3:7

If you would stand with me in honor of God's word the Scripture says this likewise husbands live with your wives in an understanding way showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since they are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered let's pray and so Lord we do thank you for your word we thank you for the time that we've been able to already spend and worship and accountability and fellowship through Community groups as we've already talked at length and have already seen your glory through worshiping you God I pray that our hearts are receptive to your word today may they be instructive to us Lord our minds are prepared our hearts are ready and for me as a man Lord I pray that this would just pierce my heart and I pray that for every man that's in here who speaks unkindly to his wife for every man in here that

Is not the best example of a Godly husband I pray that today would be the day that they repent of that sin and that they would trust in you completely and bring themselves under the authority of what your word says here Lord help us and as women in this room I pray that you would grant them Godly husbands that would lead them as we saw last week Lord how they conduct themselves has a direct impact on the salvation of their husbands I pray that you will bring forth much fruit from your word we ask all this in Jesus name amen well Peter's instruction here is a very brief but also very applicable to our lives it's direct it's to the point in verses one through six Peter he assumes that many of the married women in the local churches would have unbelieving husbands but here Peter does not make that assumption with husbands right it is significant that peers he addresses the husbands here because in the preceding verses he doesn't address the governors he doesn't address the Kings he doesn't address the bosses or the Masters and yet here he does write two husbands and it's important because it's not like it's not like governments really treat its citizens like people you know it's not like they view us as individuals it's not like bosses typically if your boss had a large corporation you're just an employee with an employee number you just get cycled through but husbands do not treat their wives like property amen they are people co-heirs with Christ and that word likewise that starts out our passage today in verse seven it's the same word used in chapter 3 verse 1 which does bring a connection to the verses but what's it there for

It's because it is the husband's duty to serve his wife in Ephesians Paul he writes to the church and in that passage you have three verses that are dedicated to how a woman is supposed to relate to her husband but then you have nine verses that relate to how a husband is to treat his wife H.B Charles Jr he said that the gravity of a text is not to be measured by its count of numbers but by its content and its context so what does Peter say here in verse 7. We're going to look at Five Points today and the first point here is the command for Christ's love we started with that last week talking about the command but it's the command for Christ's love take that down write that down men okay Peter he writes to live with your wives that word live is sunoai countes which means dwelling together in intimacy and cherishing them that is how husbands are to live with their wives it's an imperative it means that men should Delight in being with their wife and this instruction is for husbands to live in an understanding way which focuses primarily on living in accordance with God's will not what you want ma'am not what your desires are or even her desires and her wants however the context is about looking to God's Will and what God's plan for your marriage is but the context does include living in an understanding way toward the needs of your wife you are to live with your wife and listen if you are a man and you are making up every excuse to not be with your wife then you are walking in Rebellion into God's plan it's a lot of Silence out there guys oh my if you value your me time more than your spouse that is not a characteristic of

Christ's likeness Paul he writes this instruction to husbands as an explanation upon this in Ephesians chapter 5 verses 25-33 it says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and I am saying that refers to Christ and the church however Let each one of you love his wife as himself let the wife see that she respects her husband and so when Peter instructs Christians here to live with your wives the understanding in the entirety of Scripture is with Christ like love and that's a high standard isn't it because husbands we are called to be selfless to be holy to be pure and cleansing in our love for our spouse Ruth Caulkin she was a Christian poet and songwriter back in the 20th century she wrote that song my God is so big so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do right she wrote a poem called marriage means and here's what the final stanzas mean yeah say and I would like for you to listen closely marriage means learning when to say nothing when to keep talking when to push a little when to back off it means acknowledging I can't be God to you I need him too marriage means you are the other part of

Me I am the other part of you will work through with never a thought of walking out marriage means two imperfect mates building permanently giving totally in partnership with a perfect God marriage my love means us as the leader of the home husbands are to be the initiator of love the initiator of peace and forgiveness and encouragement and hope and all of those things proceed directly from a saving relationship with Jesus Christ because Jesus is the one that initiates that with us amen we love because he first loved us and so we are called to love our wives by living with them building a life together enjoying their company not avoiding them not taking weekend trips away constantly but by being present by being engaged and with them this is indirect fulfillment of God's plan for marriage we see that in Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 and Ephesians had just quoted it therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh and this is the most important relationship that a man could ever have apart from a relationship with the Lord God and this is accomplished through a covenant commitment toward his wife and marriage the second point that we're going to see here is the example of Christ's patience Peter he writes husbands are to live with your wives in an understanding way that phrase is catanosin which means according to knowledge it does have overtones of sexual intimacy but yet this knowledge is also in reference to our knowledge of the Lord God in chapter 2 verse 19 Peter he writes for this is a gracious thing when mindful of God

One endures Sorrows while suffering unjustly that phrase there mindful of God is in direct reference to submission and in the same way in chapter 3 verse 2 Peter he says when they see your respectful and pure conduct we noted that word respectful last week is that Greek word Phobos which is fear it's a phobia and we already know that Peter has already said that we are only to fear the Lord the whole point that Peter is making here is that our relationships with one another proceed from and find their strength in the Lord God that husbands are to live with their wives informed by the knowledge of who God is and what his will is for our lives husbands are called to understand their wife in knowledge not in arguments not to understand their wives in fear not with cowardice or Pride not in lust or anger but in knowledge and knowledge is directly tied to understanding I once heard a husband talking about his wife at a restaurant and he said talk that's all that my wife ever does is talk and his friend said well what does she say he says I don't know she never says husbands that's a really bad example for you amen we are to engage we are to listen we are to become experts on the needs on the desires of the one and the wants of our wives not to be submissive where she wears the pants she's the decision maker you know why because that subverts the man's God-given role in his home but he is to love her and to know her and to understand her in such a way that he knows what she needs now I love coming home to a clean home right I love it a love for things to be organized and neat my wife loves that

Too but we got four five little time tornadoes that tear up our house right got a little sign in our home and it says what does it say it says yeah and together they watch the kids destroy the home it's it's a glorious truth you know we've got a baby you know what he does I put up the books literally two minutes later I mean all the books are out and they're they're just thrown about and I'm like this one doesn't even have a cover on it no we want to hold on to that one okay you know we're just trying to figure out how to maintain that home right now my wife she wants the home to be a retreat she describes it that her desire is for it to be an engetti for me from the demands of ministry from a refuge from the trials of life but that doesn't happen very often because life gets in the way there's always dishes to be done there's always floors to be sweat there's always Windows to wash there's always a child to hold or console there's always a meal to cook but living with my wife in an understanding way doesn't mean that she needs more motivation from me amen she said it louder than the rest of y'all by the way do you know what she needs she needs a hand some of you men may say you know I will never understand women I can't follow their thoughts remember that you are not commanded to understand women but you are commanded to understand your wife can say Amen or ouch I don't care so spend time with her talk with her listen to her turn off the TV for a change get off your phone connect date be with read with pray with the writers of the Book of Proverbs in Proverbs Chapter 5 it's a chapter about the danger of the dangers

Of adultery and running after loose women verses 15 through 19 it says this drink water from your own cistern in other words don't go around drinking from other people's Wells right marriage is between two people not five do not commit adultery the seventh commandment flowing water from your own well should your Springs be scattered abroad in other words should should your wife the place that should be a refuge for you should you not be keep track of her streams of water in the streets let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth a lovely deer a graceful doe let her breast fill you at all times with delight and be intoxicated always in her love that is how we should adore our wives loving her celebrating her delighting in her where she is the only one who catches your eye this word of your patience here as we have talked about patience the patience of Christ it will always be greater towards Those whom you love and your love will always be proven by your patience that's why in First Corinthians 13 you know it starts out with that first characteristic of love it says love is patient it is the defining characteristic and it is indeed patience and husbands should be extraordinarily patient and understanding with their wife the third point is the attitude of Christ's care look at verse 7 with me it says showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel and this doesn't mean that women are inferior the fact is that men are stronger physically and women are very much stronger oftentimes emotionally mentally

But yet it is their femininity which is their Glory and then they have the Instinct because of their gentleness because of them being the weaker vessel that we have that innate instinct to protect to preserve them and yet Peter here tells us to show honor to the woman and that word honor it's actually not the best word there it's the Greek word teme which is used in chapter 2 verse 7 to describe the value and the preciousness of the promise of Salvation listen to chapter 2 verse 7 it says so the honor is for you who believe and so men you are to honor your wife because she is gentle and this means that there is an implicit forbidance from any kind of physical abuse you may not ever lay a hand on your wife why because she is your best friend she is your spiritual equal you are called to be the head of your home leading in love and grace and in tenderness and kindness and in self-control and all the fruits of the spirit you are to be the leader at creation Genesis chapter 1 verse 27 it says this so God created man in his own image and the image of God he created him male and female he created them man and woman created in the image of God and yet at the fall that's where sin entered the world and men and women were opposed to each other at that point that's why it says in Genesis 3 16 your desire talking to the woman shall be contrary to your husband but he shall rule over you and yet it is at the cross of Jesus Christ that we don't see this opposition or hate or enmity because we read in Galatians chapter 3 verse 28 there is neither Jew nor Greek there's neither slave nor free there is no male and female for you are all one in Christ Jesus and if you are Christ's then you are Abraham's offspring heirs according to promise

That woman my Christian brother is your help mate your wife is alongside of you as Adam's saying to Eve in the garden after she was created at last is bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man but I want you to know husband Christian brother that Christ does not ask you to do something that he himself has not already done because you see that the church is the bride of Christ it is made up of individual people but it is one body under his authority and every single believer can attest to the Glorious care of Christ in our lives it's not only for a past but our present need for his Tender Love even right now even right in this moment in his care for our future Saint Augustine he said we count on God's mercies for our past mistakes on God's love for our present needs and on God's sovereignty for our future and the same way we are to represent Christ always anticipating and thinking of blessing our wives the fourth point is the inclusion in Christ's reward listen to what Peter says since they are heirs with you of the grace of life now I want you to think about this in the first century Roman culture right women they are included here as co-heirs with their husbands in the kingdom of God and your wife I'm assuming I pray men that your wives are Christians she is also a co-heirer in the grace of God you see they've been saved by grace they've been Sanctified and are being Sanctified by the spirit they are preserved by God Just As You Are men during this time back in the first century they were typically uninterested with having a friendship with their wives the wife was typically to stay at home

Be a homemaker and not have much in terms of a friendship or closeness with their husbands and so for Peter to write this to even to say this I mean remember that husbands here they are being called to nurture their marriage in such a way that the wife sees the love the care the patience and the glory of God through their husbands and so this is totally a counter-cultural a teaching that Peter is giving and so I commend and admonish my Christian Brothers here to lead and love your wife well that you are to be the one to lead her to church to lead her to community group to pray over her to lift your hand in worship to ask her to serve with you in Ministry that you take the initiative in forgiving and not just bottling it up and not even dealing with the issues your wife is a co-heir of the grace of life and this means that in the end when it's all over this is this is an end times word the grace of life it's an eschatological word and it should not be understood primarily as Grace in this life but it is Grace to be received at the resurrection and so women are not promised a lesser reward they are instead guaranteed fullness of blessings in Christ's Kingdom finally my last point is the warning of spiritual weakness the warning of spiritual weakness it says so that your prayers may not be hindered you see if you are a Christ-like caring husband who is considerate then you have that promise that your prayers are not hindered but did you know that your prayers could be hindered perhaps that's why many men are so ineffectual in their prayer life

That's why it feels like they're bouncing off the ceiling is because there's something going on with their relationship with their wife in Psalm 66 the writer there he's he is talking about the despair that he's feeling and in verses 17 and 18 he says I cried to him God with my mouth and High Praise was on my tongue if I had cherished iniquity in my heart the Lord would not have listened in other words if there is ongoing sin and you just want to try to move past it God he will not accept for you to come to him and his throne with that unresolved sin issue he will remind you of what you've done he's going to tell you to do business with that and either you confess your sin and God he's calling you to make it right to get your heart right so that you might be restored to his graces otherwise your conscience could be hardened toward the Lord and Proverbs 28 it says something similar it says if one turns away his ear from hearing the law even his prayer is an abomination so brother friend if you have heard the word this morning I don't want you to think that you can just move past it and think that everything's okay God he will not Delight in your prayers or your emotions or how loud you get it could be that you just need to make things right in your home James chapter 5 verse 16 it says this the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working and yet the warning here in this verse is that if you do not deal with your wife gently with understanding and love and in your prayers will have no power and that you're in great danger because there is nothing more terrified more terrifying than for a Christian to be powerless in this world this emphasis is on the importance of prayer for the

Christian home he used to be said that the family who prays together stays together and now it's live laugh love a family that keeps living and laughing and loving is not going to stay together but a family that prays together does Charles big he was a pastor of the church in England and he famously said that the size of the injured wife come between the husband's prayers and God's hearing this doesn't mean that a wife who doesn't get her way is the ultimate Arbiter of peace because sometimes your wife just might be wrong and she just wants to get her way it happens but it is incumbent upon you husband Christian brother to love your wife to lead your wife with such compassion understanding and Grace that she is willing to follow you Matthew Henry he said that the husband's duty to the wife implies giving her due respect and maintaining her Authority protecting her and placing trust in her because they're they are errors together of all the blessings of this life and that which is to come and should live peaceably with one another prayer sweetens their Converse and it is not enough that they pray with the family but husband and wife together by themselves and with their children those who are acquainted with prayer find such unspeakable Sweetness in it that they will not be hindered therein that you may pray much live holy that you may live holy be much in prayer but what should you do let's say that you've wounded your wife and it's Grievous first you must go to your wife and ask for her forgiveness specifically and why not begin with Lord well because

God's already spoken on that in Matthew chapter 5 verse 23 it says so if you are offering your gift at the altar and they remember that your brother you might say well that's not brother don't play semantics you know what it means has something against you leave your gift there before the Altar and go first be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift not in the general sense not just say I'm sorry baby will you forgive me I ain't gonna fly be specific in your repentance earlier this week I got angry with my wife I did I did that was Monday or Tuesday I think it was Tuesday it was Tuesday and it was a burn day and in our HOA we just we have to call Mid County make sure it's fine to burn and everything and it just has never lined up where it's been a burn day and I've had time just has not I've called every like stinking day it's been crazy well she called that morning no burn day called later on in the day and it turned out to be a burn day and she had never burned leaves before and so she got really freaked out when they started to spread real fast and she didn't have like running water that could breach there was like a hose that was like 10 feet away so she's like trying to spray like real far it just got out of control real quick right and so she's like the kids are calling me they're like Dad you gotta get home the woods are on fire I'm I'm gone right and I get there it's all under control it doesn't even look that bad it just scared her and I was angry I just I and the way that I get angry is I just tell her like I'm and I'm not lying am I no I just I it's just not in me to do that so and that wounded her that wounded her because it wasn't that I wasn't irritated

Or even really concerned for safety you know I'll just be honest I was just more irritated that I had to be pulled away and I had to repent to that I told my wife I said honey I'm sorry like I should have been really actually concerned for your safety and I wasn't and that was sin on my part and we're good now you know but because we dealt with it we talked about it just very frankly very openly and she extended forgiveness to me and your situation might be a little more severe than that I don't know what it is but you do and the Lord does and whatever that thing is that just popped into your head that you need to make right you better make it right after you go to your wife what else should you do well you need to go to the Lord ultimately every sin is against the Lord the Bible instructs us in many places that our relationship with the Lord is affected by our relationship with others but once we get reconciled we need to go to the Lord with our wife that's the tough part isn't it to Humble ourselves in such a way to do that but we are called to do so because a husband is called to lead his wife he doesn't get to lead her down the path that he chooses for her life but he gets to lead her in the path of grace to the cross husbands love your wives as Christ has loved you be selfless for the sake of your wife give of yourself as a servant for her sanctification husbands live with your wives in an understanding way with patience not losing your cool by being

Angry or belittling but by being gentle in how you speak and what you say husbands care for your wife as the weaker partner because she needs your protection she needs your shelter so don't neglect that but being disconnected and aloof but by being engaged and anticipating her needs remember your husbands that your wife is a co-heir of the grace of Salvation alongside of you with you in Christ Jesus and so lead her in that path don't dissuade her don't criticize her don't let her lead you are called to lead her in the knowledge of God husbands treat your wives very well that you might have the power that is available to you in Christ because if you mistreat her there is that warning that the Lord May hinder your prayers head heart hand head I want you to know that Christ is the perfect example that Christians are to follow you will never be a perfect example but God has provided the perfect example through Jesus Christ to his son to model yourself after so seek to love your wife and lead her to the Savior daily that she would be Sanctified for God's glory heart I want you to believe that we should strive to be Christ-like toward our wives or our prayers could be in vain so quit living in spiritual impotence and come to the Lord for cleansing and minister to your wife lead her in love to the Lord and step into that role that God has given to you in hand I want you to become experts on Your Wife by seeking to understand her feelings her thoughts and needs and to point her to the Lord praise the Lord amen at this time we're going to transition into our time of response through the taking of communion

Now is a good time for you to speak to your wife to pray to ask forgiveness to consider that Grace that is yours in Christ so if you would just take the next couple of minutes and think upon what you've heard from the Lord this morning foreign if you have not had an opportunity to grab the elements from each one of our entrances this is a time where you can get up and at each one of these doors you can go and receive the elements we're not called to Perfection at the table but we are called to know Christ thank you foreign for this time when we get to celebrate your supper God it's it's glorious reminder of Your Grace on our lives that you have called us you have redeemed us and that we get to have a personal relationship with you we don't have to go through a pastor we don't have to go through a priest we don't even have to make sacrifices Lord we just come to you as we are cleansed redeemed made beautiful because of what you've done for us that you have taken us from the lowest depths of death and have raised us to walk in newness of life we're so grateful for that God we glory in you and we remember your death we remember your burial your Resurrection Lord we just thank you we say hallelujah for doing that for us Lord now you have all the all the honor and all the glory and all the power thank you for redeeming us Lord our thoughts turn to your body

Right now Lord this representation of your body through the bread Lord thank you that it is pure there is no leaven Lord thank you that it was broken for us on that cross Lord that you took on the sheer punishment and that you bore that sin debt that you paid to redeem all of us who by faith trust in you Lord thank you for that promise Jesus name amen the Scripture says in First Corinthians 11 for I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread when he had given thanks he broke it and said this is my body which is for you do this in remembrance of me take the bread and eat with me Lord we are so thankful for the bread we're thankful for the cup Lord we know that you have taken this cup you drink it to the dregs Lord it is the New Covenant of your blood by which we are redeemed that we are washed pure Lord thank you for saving our souls thank you that we don't have just all of Earth to look forward to however long that might be but that we have the eternal life in heaven that we get to enjoy through the blood of your son thank you for purchasing us thank you for dying for us we just ask Lord that you would do a great work in US reminding us of our tremendous need for the Gospel every day thank you for dying freely on the cross Lord you weren't coerced you did it willingly

Thank you for being that sacrifice and we love you Lord in Jesus name the Scripture continues in verse 25 in the same way also he took the cup after supper saying this cup is a New Covenant in my blood do this as often as you drink it in remembrance of me take the cup and drink with me for as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup you proclaim the Lord's death until he returns at this time I'd like to ask Steve to come up and pray for Steve Warren if you would come up and dismiss us in prayer no okay Steve Marsh would you let's pray father we do thank you that we can come to you like this just freely nothing that we have to do special you're with us you're here now you hear our prayer we thank you for this morning where we could gather as a body to worship you in all the various ways that you have led us so we pray now that as we leave we'll remember that we are with you are with us and we would act and speak in such a way that we show forth the Praises of you who have called us into your Marvelous Light we thank you for that in Christ's name amen